Absurdities of Life #3

Since returning home from New York, I have found out that the owners of the Katy Courier have pulled out. I leave town and the paper goes under. It's done. Over. The Katy Courier has completely folded.

Dang.

What a crazy experience this summer job has been. But, even still, my four weeks of work there taught me plenty about the work place, people, and graphics design(?)...

I praise God for my short stay and now faithfully await the next door He will open in employment this summer.

The City That Never Sleeps

The cab driver, Sieed, driving me into Manhattan while explaining his journey from Bangladesh to the United States in “hopes of a better life.”

The Hassidic Jew walking down Fifth Avenue in his long black robe and matching hat, ear-locks bobbing, and typing an email on his Blackberry.

The boy in Chinatown who speaks English as his second language just like his Vietnamese, immigrant parents.

The prostitute in the street, selling herself to survive and tragically dependent on the pimp that keeps her in slavery.

The homeless woman tredging down Broadway with all her belongings dragging in a box tied to her back, begging for help and relief.

The young professional sitting down on the subway to read his Gay Pride magazine as the shoddier teenager next to him reads his Bible.

The young congregation of believers meeting in a hotel on Sunday morning as they continue their adventure in loving on this global city and sharing the Light of Jesus Christ.

These were the things I saw that make New York what it is. These are the images that I fell in love with in my short stay.

New York represents the idolatry of so many, including myself. It symbolizes patriotism, materialism, globalization, individualism, greed, worldliness, humanism, debauchery, and the list goes on. In moderation, most of these would never be an issue, but it is New York. The biggest and the brightest; the loudest and the most astounding. In this the city embraces what’s fatal.

Bars, clubs, liquor stores, and pornography venues lurk below the upscale, flourishing businesses in floors above. Wall Street works hard and parties hard… all in the name of success. But cannot an overbearing patriotism be equally dangerous? I watched so many swell with more pride at the face of Lady Liberty than the face of Christ. Oh, Father, the Enemy blinds all men everywhere.

But that is why I love this place. It is so lost. For so much of my saved life, I saw it as “us verses them.” The Church against the world. Saved against sinners. How wrong I was. I am no better than the Lost. I have been saved by grace. I am not standing at the Cross looking down at people. I am kneeling before it begging them to come and join me. I am no less of a sinner. My sin has only been covered by Jesus’ blood.

These people are going to perish. Sieed, the Hassidic Jew, the young professional. Without Jesus, they are going to burn in the flames of Hell having committed nothing worse than I if something is not done about it. We are commissioned first to love people and then, in that love, to share the Good News with them. We are told to be Christ to them.

Oh how I would love to watch Jesus in the streets of New York.

I don’t think He would ignore all the homeless begging for aide.

I don’t think He would refuse to offer His seat to another on the subway.

I don’t think He would flee the chance to go with co-workers to the bar after work and love on them there.

I think He would fight to win the heart of the prostitute and offer her a way to freedom in both this life and the next.

I think He would defy the principles of success and shock people with His servant-based heart.

I think He would help as many in need as He could without ever asking anything in return.

I think He would share the Good News that can only be embraced through Him.

I loved New York and feel, somewhere deep down, that my time there is not yet over. Maybe I’ll return someday, by the grace of God alone, and help friends like Sieed discover a far “better life” than his Hindu origins imagine.

Live from New York, it's... my blog

Well, I'm sitting in my friends' apartment on my last morning in New York. What an incredible trip. I feared that I would fall in love with this place and, in many ways, have. I cannot wait to reflect on this adventure and see what the Lord has taught me.

Over 1.5 million people on a single island (not even including the other Buroughs). So many people. So many stories. So many souls. What an incredeible place.

I'll update soon.

Vintage Renaissance

I have been attempting to write this entry for some time now (and I know this is not the first time for me to make that claim). I don’t know if it is writing so many letters to friends at camps (particularly Jennifer) and a renewal in my prayer journaling that has left me lacking in my blogging abilities… or simply that I have not made the effort. Either way, I’ve pledged to consistently update this thing in an endeavor to record my summer and here is my stab at fulfilling that.

Since I last updated, the Lord has certainly begun to work on that hip of mine. He is breaking me and it is incredible. Slowly and painfully He is tearing away my flesh and ransacking the strongholds of my old self that still cling to my heart. It has been a joy to experience a rebirthing time. A renaissance. Praise God.

What is so fascinating to me is that the “new creation” that the Lord forms His children into is simply an old creation: it is what we were always intended to be. The new creation is the original creation. Man before sin. Man without sin. Hence the vintage renaissance. By His grace, and for His glory, He is making me into the man that I was always intended to be and fell from just as my father Adam did. By the blood of Christ I can walk with the Lord in “the cool of the day.” By the forgiveness of God I can once again care for His creation and worship Him in all that I do. Praise God for this ancient, new creation. This redeemed creation. This rebirthed creation. I am His.

The Spirit has done much to show me my mistakes throughout last year. One of the largest ones was my poor treatment of some of my closest brothers. In my inconsistent focus, I took friendships for granted and ignored so many of the people I love most. I can list at least 5 conversations that have recently taken place over my lack of brotherhood. All of them say the same thing: “Derek, I love you so much and desired to keep our friendship strong, but you kept pushing away, ignoring phone calls, and, in the few times we got together, did not act real. There were times when I really needed you… but even more times when I just wanted to help you out. I could certainly tell that you were wearing a mask.”

It breaks my heart. I am so very sorry. To any who may read this acknowledging the same statement, I apologize.

I was reading Psalm 7 today and David, in his unbelievable faith, makes to God this cry, “if there is wrong in my hands, if I have repaid a friend with evil, or plundered my enemy without cause, let the enemy pursue my soul and overtake it, and let him trample my life to the ground and lay my glory in the dust.”

The Church is so quick to pray grace but never to beg consequences. This is the heart of David, the man the Lord loved so much. I desire that faith. I desire that humility.

God, I am not proud of last year. I am so insignificant. For all my wrongs to friends, for all my plundering without cause, let my soul be pursued! Overtake my soul, oh Lord, and trample it! Trample my life to the ground no matter the pain! Lay my glory in the dust. Break me. Shatter me. Kill my pride.

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21.

I am not my own.

Please, do not think that I am being too hard on myself. And surely do not imagine that all I am doing this summer is moping about, crying over my wickedness, tearing my clothes, and putting ashes on my head. No no, this summer looks nothing like that. I simply must put this on my blog. I must display my nothingness. I must admit my shortcomings so as to glorify the grace in Christ that makes me whole.

I may be nothing but He is everything. And I am His.

Trust me, this summer is incredibly joyful. I am so sorry for my mistakes… but I am far more excited about this vintage renaissance.

Grace and peace in our Lord.